Tag Archives: Change

How, When, Where, Who, What


How can we end the hatred?

End the bloodshed and never ending dread?

When will we become one?

In peace, humanity and love?

Where is the war going to end?

The death, violence, hurt start to mend?

Who will be the one?

Just what needs to be done?

What words or justice needs to be sought?

So that all that the world’s evil can be rallied up and caught.



You Could Have Just 2….



Remember in your youth the phrase “Think before you speak”
was told over and over by the adults around you? It always amazed me how some
adults could speak out both sides of their mouths. At what point did we lose
our willingness to engage our brain before inserting our foot? Was it when we
realized there was no longer a consequence for our remarks or was it when we
learned the first amendment? Regardless of the reason, toying with someone life
in words should have consequences.
Being diagnosed with epilepsy this concept was evident even
to an eleven year old. Listening to doctors ask questions that would leave even
the most hardened adult confused and belittled. No medical reason for the
epilepsy like brain trauma or birth defect questions were asked like “could you
conjure one (a seizure) up for me?” “You could be wearing your ponytail too
tight”, “Are you sure you aren’t just imagining this?”  Twenty-two years of being treated like it was
all in my head until one sentence was uttered, 70 to 80% of all seizures have
no known cause. What? I’m a normal oddity? That one sentence if uttered at any
point 20 years earlier would have changed so much.

Then later in life, after the birth of a beautiful baby boy,
the request for birth control was made. For some reason the myths of women on
neurological medications would either have horrible birth defect consequences or
women on these meds tend to forget to take their birth control ran rampant
through the medical society. The practice of tying tubes or tubligation would
be my only option. I was sterilized because of my mythical inability to
remember to take my birth control.
Adults and physicians were not the only ones to mentally and
emotionally wrestle with, there is another stumbling block that for most of us
would be the last place we would encounter little or no understanding.

From my catechism teachings I don’t remember the heroes and
heroines of the bible being submissive. They were aggressive and empowered, why
should I have been any different?

“You could have just” can be a very powerful statement when
used the right way. The next time you see a child or a woman being abused and
stand by and do nothing. Look into their eyes and see “you could have just held
me or gotten me out; you could have just called someone in my time in need”.

The next time you are fighting over truths and half-truths,
look into their eyes and see “you could have just told me up front I can take
it, you could have just been braver than me this time”.

The next time you pretend to understand a person’s anguish,
step back one minute and take a look and you will see, “you could have just
been there wholly instead of pretending to know, you could have just silently
listened as my world fell apart – opinions were not needed just then”.

So please, if you get anything out of this, finish this
sentence before you change the life of a child, a victim, a friend, a
co-worker, patient, a parishioner, or anyone for that matter.

You could have just…..just what? Think about that the next
time you speak a half truth or your belief, is it better for you or the person
receiving it?

Thank you to our past but…


I do believe there are many in my place; those raised by depression era parents, traditionalists, but somehow free thinkers. Those of us in my same predicament, find it hard to adhere to one word terms for the constitutional rights of all.

I have called myself a feminist for a long time but have always felt a slam in my gut when I said it. It alienated too many of the people I grew up with, to many of the people I worked with, to many of the people I befriended over the years. Feminism has taught me many things, so has fighting against domestic violence, so has fighting against bullying, so has fighting for the rights of military families and veterans, so has fighting for glbt rights, and so has fighting for the rights of epileptics and their families.

Feminism was a great effort, Gloria and the many other women fought very hard for our few rights but I think it is now time to change the tune and drop the fem from ism and introduce a new word.

My parents always believed in equality, they fought for it in wars that we will never compare to. They stood in lines for food that we will never see. Our parents, uncles, aunts saw battles on the streets that we will never comprehend and are no longer taught in our schools. Our children today don’t even remember Roe vs. Wade.

Equal needs to replace Female; Equal needs to become Equalism and Equalist. We need to start fighting for the rights of all, regardless of gender, race, or religion. Regardless of status, wealth, or age, we need to start fighting for all living in America, in the United States. Or am I just throwing out words and it is no longer the United States of America where people come to gain freedom and acceptance? When are we going to get past 9/11? We got past Pearl Harbor, even though we threw every Asian person in America in a concentration camp. But we don’t tell our children of the mistakes we made, we tell them of the tragedies that other evil countries made and make them bias, bigoted, and hateful.

It’s time to fight for equality for all who live in this country. It’s time to fight for your neighbor, your co-worker, the stranger you just passed today, maybe even yourself. Equality for all that live here in this wonderful land we call home.  It’s time to become an Equalist.