Category Archives: Equality

Equality…. not that hard of a category to understand

So tired

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We, in America, are fighting for or against so many things.

Serious stats

Only 3% of America is military/guard/reserve/veteran.

More Americans have killed by Americans or by family members in the United States since 9/11 by gun violence than those on 9/11 and all the the military sacrificed combined.

More girls under the age of 15 have been trafficked in and out of America since 9/11 then so called terrorists have gone in or out.

More women have been killed by thier husbands in America than mass shootings killings since 9/11

When are we going to focus on the pertinent and extreme instead of the race and religion.

I’m so tired of explaining it to stupid ignorant people.

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Thank you Trump for bringing Carly vs Hillary

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Trump doesn’t want to be president,  Trump wanted to bring a female republican against a female democratic for president.  That’s what was his job to get the the republican party shook up. For of those of you that don’t see this…ya well.

When

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When you are fighting for the rights of abused and beaten women,
When you are fighting for the the rights of the disabled, 
When you are fighting for the rights of those that have died fighting for liberty,
When is it you last walk into this deep dark abyss that no one else recognizes and say enough.
What do you do?

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Who Am I

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Who am I? Does it really matter?

Why does it matter who I am to others unless those others mean something to me?

What is it that I am, if others keep downing what I am?

Where can I go, where can I be, where can I succeed if others block my path because of who I am?

When are we going to allow us to be who we are regardless of color, religion, gender, or wealth?

I do not care what you think of me, what I say, what I look like, what my disability is, or what my paycheck is.

We are close because we care..

I used to be…

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I used to be the fixer of things, the finder of new routes, the queen of lost causes.

They sent blockades, put up barriers, more and more, until there were no more paths to take

There are no more reasons for me to be the fixer of the unjust and lost

Because this country is to big to save

Stop calling this a christian nation..

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We need to stop calling this a Christian Nation because we do not take care of our poor, our hungry, and our disabled. 

Republicans, stop calling this a Christian Nation, because the only people we take care of are the rich and able.

This is not a Christian Nation, because we do not follow Jesus in his preachings, we do not treat all equal, we do not feed our hungry and poor, and we do not help our disabled.
We are not a Christian Nation until we treat all equal. When women were given the right to vote there was a constant to repeal it, when Civil Rights was put in place there was a constant to repeal it, I cannot understand how our elected do not learn from their past to improve their future.
The fact that the USA had intern camps for Japanese and Germans during wars and yet know one remembers this that is elected. Maybe it is because we no longer teach this to our children.
This is not a Christian Nation, State, County, or City(s) because we do not care for our poor, hungry and disabled. We only care for our rich and able.

Basement Box Findings….

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Going through some basement boxes I came across some papers… in it was a miscellaneous envelope with this written on the back. I must have been driven, angry, or something because it is written in capital letters, pen, and only one mistake. I don’t know if this is copied from somewhere or what. The envelope stamp date is November 1995, I was living in New Brighton.

VICTIM

WHY DO WE HAVE DEMONS IN THE BACK OF OUR HEART?

WHY DO THEY INSIST ON COMING OUT AND TEARING OUR WORLD APART?

I’M LOVED, I’M SAFE, I’M HELD, I’M CARED FOR, I’M GIBRALTAR ROCK STRONG.

WHY DOES THE DEMON  MAKE ME FEEL SO SMALL, SO WEAK, SO VERY WRONG?

I’VE KNOCKED THEM BACK. I’VE LOCKED THEM UP. I’VE PUT THEM IN THEIR PLACE.

SO PLEASE TELL ME WHY THEY COME BACK OUT AND SHOW THEIR UGLY FACE.

SO I PRAY TONIGHT TO THE DEMON LEADER “ONCE AND FOR ALL LET ME BE!”

AND HE REPLIES “DEAR SWEET CHILD, YOU BELONG TO ME.”

Written sometime between 1991 and 1993 another box finding… Black/White or Kaleidoscope

When I was younger, about fourteen or fifteen, I had 3 dreams.
The first one was to be a nurse, the second was to have a happy family, and the third was to be a great singer.

It’s amazing how at that age, and even younger, you can have these great aspirations. How you think you will have the world by the tail and in someways even think you are invincible. But my grasp on the world’s tail was loosened. Loosened by the other people imposing their reality on me. It’s really interesting, if everyone had the same reality, this world would either be a very black and white world or a very large kaleidoscope.

It’s been a long night sifting through boxes. It has been a long time since I have been back here, but it is good that I am here because it is one of the reasons I am here today.
The following is a letter I found, whether it was ever published…who knows. But it was written while I was at The Refuge…

This letter is to all the men who feel they must dominate, control and abuse. This may only be one woman’s thoughts, but I feel I speak for all the abused women out there.

Dear Abuser:

We loved you. For some of us we still love you. For some of us we shared a lifetime, and of a lot of us even a family. We went into this with hopes and dreams and love. All we asked for in return was love, respect, consideration and friendship. But instead we were blamed, ridiculed, kicked down and belittled. For some of us the bruises never showed, which would have been easier if they did. At least with the physical abuse we could see and explain our torment. With the emotional and mental abuse it was not always easy to see or deal with. You took away our self esteem, our dreams, and most of all, our trust. 

For all of us we stayed. Thanking that someday you’d change. Hoping some day you would see the treasure before you. That somewhere in that twisted, paranoid mind of yours you’d come to figure out that things can be worked out without mind games, abuse or violence. But it never happened. Then when we did leave, you couldn’t believe it. You told us we didn’t have any right that we were wrong. Well….if you would have ever pulled yourself out of your self absorbed, dominating, egotistical shell, you’d have noticed that most of it was your own fault. We let you pull you down with your lies, deceit, and false promises. We let ourselves pull you up anytime you needed it. In fact, it got to the point you were standing on top of us, figuratively speaking, and we were smothering. 

Of all of us that had the courage to walk away, that had the strength to live fear, that had the love and understanding of everyone around us, we will make a stand for the rest of us still out there and we will try with all our might to wipe out abuse forever.

Sincerely,
Former Victim

My Fish Bowl

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it’s been a little side note for 30 years or so,

a card in my wallet, a bracelet, necklace, of whom to call or where to go

it’s been like a goldfish i must feed twice a day

but something replaced my goldfish and put a piranha there to play

it’s not a subtle entry but a steady barrage of hits

i didn’t see it coming, hear the splash, feel the nips

it’s a cruel evil thing with ferocious teeth and eye

it’s done after eight attacks – on the bed – lifeless there i lie

my family came – rescued me never seeing an attack like this

my husband asking for my return but i was lost in the abyss

i don’t remember that day – told only in story form

i don’t recall the after – those are lost forgotten torn

pieces like a patchwork quilt with greens and blues and reds

pieces mostly blacks and grays held together by a single common thread

i had accepted my goldfish, named it floppy, changed its water, fed it every day

where this evil finned thing did come from – why now, why change

i fear this ugly animal – do not wish to call it mine

but this nameless tenant of my fish bowl thinks i am it’s and will be here for some time

but I am back to feeding them twice a day,

regardless of its intentions and its need to get its way,

goldfish and piranha are separate now and defined,

floppy is doing well, its sharped tooth devil that is still being wined and dined.

and on with life we go again, a card in my wallet, a necklace around my neck,

its once again a side note, but making sure the world around me knows the side-affect.