40th Anniversary of Roe v. Wade and I still don’t have equal rights..

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****Trigger warning for sexual assault, victim blaming***

I’m writing this today because I really don’t know what else to do. I while ago I published a post saying I was no longer going to be an advocate/activist for Violence Against Women, Domestic Violence Laws, Rape Victims and so on because I needed to move on. But I finally realized today it is not so much that I need to move on, but it is because I am in the wrong generation. My generation has failed it’s women and children. My generation has failed its unions and workers. My generation has failed to remember that when you take the oath of office it is the same one that a military soldier takes.

This is supposedly a new millennium, and the next generation is here to hopefully to save our asses. I have already seen my son learn from our many mistakes and do so much better at 23 than I was doing at that age when I had him. This new millennium is also supposedly the end of the patriarch and the beginning of the matriarch if you reach outside your christian beliefs and real read facts or care about the other religions and non-religions going on.

Three bills were proposed across this great land of ours (this once great land of ours) that give more rights to a rapists than the survivor or the survivor’s family.

The other reason I am writing this today is because when I heard about the bill in New Mexico I could not let it go and decided to write the rebuttal below. I wonder if any of the elected officials proposing the asinine bills have ever thought about these consequences.

At age seventeen I was raped by a young man I knew, at age twenty-four I was raped by two men I knew.  At age seventeen I had an abortion, at age twenty-four I was escaping a violent marriage. Unfortunately I had a miscarriage 5 months later in my parent’s bathroom. I had no idea I was pregnant, and was told she probably died at 3 months because of the beatings I took from my ex-husband.

A bill was introduced that rape victims carry their rapists’ child as evidence.

If I had to carry my rapist’s child (my ex-husband would not have been named a rapist) his friend may have…. what would I have told my son, 18 months old.  What would I have told him about his sibling especially if it wasn’t his father’s? What would I have told my son about his sibling while I went to court? What would I have told my son about his sibling if my rapist wanted joint custody and his father didn’t  What would happen when my husband adopts my son, but isn’t allowed to adopt my rapist’s child because a rapist has more rights than my husband?

For the men and women introducing these bills on behalf of the religious organizations that supported you and the other pro-life organizations that endorsed you, I know you have been asked what if this happened to your daughter. Well that doesn’t matter because all of you can afford the back room abortions, while people like me, would have had to rely on a shop vac, coat hanger, or many other life threatening devices.

If I had to give my rights to my rapists, I tell you right now, I would have dropped my son off at my parents and drove out to the country and shot myself in the head. I would not have put my parents and my son through the blind, bogus, bigoted, treatment, which you decided to enact.

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One response »

  1. It is so hard to see change happen at this glacial pace, but I think it IS happening–you see it in your son! Sometimes I think we lose sight of how much change we moms create in our own homes, especially moms of sons. Giving the world a compassionate, loving son is a pretty kickass thing to do, and you’ve done it. THANK YOU!

    Now we just have to give him the hint he needs to get started on giving the world your granddaughter Laurie, future Supreme Court Justice….

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