your “christianity” is being questioned….

On February 7th “Santorum, a former Pennsylvania senator known for his social conservative policies, said that Obama’s agenda is “not about you. It’s not about your quality of life. It’s not about your jobs. It’s about some phony ideal. Some phony theology. Not a theology based on the Bible. A different theology.”   By STEVE PEOPLES, Associated Press

I’m sorry but this is what is frustrating/irritating/angering/ me about this presidential debate, the birth control debate, the ”marriage” debate, the bullying debate and so much more…

The ”Christian” base is being used as the basis of this country….. but we have forgotten that a boat left europe to leave  religious rule by the government.  And now we are in this situation once again…. religious rule by government and voters are allowing it. Do you really want to go back to the Mayflower?

This country has locked up American Germans during the World War, the same with Japanese Americans, and now we are doing the same with Muslim and Somalian Americans because of their religion not their race.

“Christianity” is being taken as the basis of this country…..I’m sorry but ChINO is being taken as the basis of this country. Christianity In Name Only. Taking only certain parts of the Bible to make laws work in their favor, or make groups or policies look bad because the Bible says so. Yet if you bring up other parts of Bible like: be kind to others, all are gods children, and so many more.

We have Jews, Muslims, Orthodox, and Mormons leading this country and we have a presidential candidate questioning the president’s christianity? Any government official, public servant, elect official that keeps their religion out of their politics is a good public servant…. religion does not belong in government.

If we allow religion in any form to be in government we are back to the Mayflower. The United States blames other countries for not learning from their pasts and yet does not learn from its own past faults. We blame color and religion for the problems of our country, and now we blame women’s freedom for the problems of our country.

I think its time to take a look at men’s stupidity for the problems of our country, white mens stupidity, severe white conservative religious men’s stupidity… that is our problem once again along with the media’s uproar of a single topic in taking our civil liberties away.

30 to 40 years we received our civil liberties (but women) and since then our conservative bias media has blown drug abuse, theft, abortion, women’s rights and so much more out of proportion that we now have legislature and congress following media and religion as to what laws should be.

Last but not least, those that do not pay attention or stand up for the cause or vote or voice an opinion, you are as much of the problem. You must do something, your life is not that busy, if I can run a family with a husband deployed, run a city, and still have time to be an activist and vote, you can take 15 minutes a week to do your part.

Religion does not belong in government unless all religion is taking part.

 

 

Carlin’s thoughts on Testosterone!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsZfpBkgtjI&feature=related

George on Women….

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J7Akwy4pxF0&feature=related

in the name of…..

In the name of God you are bullying our children to death, In the name of God you are letting our women die, In the name of God you send my husband to fight for your freedom…..

in the name of humanity stop throwing your god in my face

Fire LIZ TROTTA!!

FOX NEWS Pundit Liz Trotta had the audacity to comment “what did they expect” regarding women raped in the military… I implore you to call FOX NEWS and demand Liz Trotta or FOX NEWS apologize for this horrendous array of statements. I also request that you demand Trotta’s immediate removal from FOX NEWS and it be announced. Please call or email FOX NEWS below immediately! Thank you for your assistance in this matter!! 1-888-369-4762 or email them at yourcomments@foxnews.com

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/13/fox-news-liz-trotta-rape_n_1274018.html

Why I speak….

People, even my family, are often taken aback by my willingness and openess about my abusive first marriage, my rape, my miscarriage….

But a couple of months ago I saw an 80′s white station wagon, one my ex used to drive, one that every time I saw I would cringe. My husband and I were driving down Hwy 169 in Champlin, MN and on the east side of the highway with a forsale sign on it was an exact duplicate of my ex’s wagon. I froze. I gasped. And then asked my husband to turn around and go back to that station wagon.

He pulled up in the parking lot about 4 car lengths from the fear on wheels….. I sat in our car and stared at the white monstrosity… getting out, walking over, with pictures and horror films running through my mind I touched the ghosts window….. dragged my fingers along its silver arms upto the handle on the front door…. the red interior was just the same hiding all the beatings I had taken…. I opened the door, sat down inside, grasp the steering wheel and looked in the mirror……

My devil was not in back…. it was just an empty back seat that was clean and ready for sale.

I stepped back out, thanked the owner, got in our vehicle and went on our way home. Smiling at my husband I thanked him for helping me win that battle over 80′s white station wagons. The flashbacks would no longer be as severe when I saw one, I would no longer hide when one was in a parking lot.

I still have pine and pine trees, sand and other things to get past, that trigger things that have ugly faces. But kicking the wagon and making it steel instead of scare….. lets me know that I do have the strength now to do this….

NO MORE APOLOGIES:

I keep saying im crabby and apologizing for it….. well, here it is…. im not crabby, bitchy, pmsing, etc. I came to the end of my rope in ’05 dealing with dumbass army colonels, majors etc that didn’t give a rats ass about military families…. then in ’07 i had to deal with dumb ass self-centered egotistical male legislators that didn’t give a rats ass about family in general……. then in ’10 i had to deal with a narrow-minded, dumbass, undermining party that didn’t give a rats ass about anyone running for them but those in areas that could win.

I’m not going to apologize anymore for speaking my mind against groups, against persons, against parties. Four years ago I thought I could trust anyone I came in contact with….. what a fuckin idiot. Even those that call themselves feminists, democrats, and activists. I am done apologizing, I am done being nice, and I am done holding back because it might cause tension. I will call you out if you are a dumbass, I will call you out if you are undermining a cause for your own good, I will call you out if you are an egotistical prick.

I’ve let go of my rope and the dumbass tied to it who jumped off the bridge making me hold on , it has fallen to the bottom of the ravine. I have made my last walk across this bridge and those who care to follow may do so because I have cleared the way.

Does High Professional Pay = Wins, Success, Quality?

The Minnesota Lynx are now winning and are in the WNBA
Playoffs! The only Minnesota Team doing it, and amazingly enough on salaries
from $35,000 to $101,000! Yes ladies and gentleman, those are the payoffs for
making those amazing plays and getting the team to the play offs. I would like
to compare and give my thoughts to our other teams we cheer for, that have lost
or are now losing.

MN Vikings 2011
player salaries:  $91,488,438/ approx.
101x more than the Lynx

MN Twins 2011 player
salaries:  $113,237,000/ approx. 125x
more than the Lynx

MN Timberwolves 2011 player
salaries: $48,539,139/ approx. 54x more than the Lynx

MN Wild 2011 player
salaries:  $57,995,000/ approx. 64x
more than the Lynx

MN Lynx player
salaries:

In 2008, there was a new six-year bargaining agreement agreed upon by the players and the league.
The salary cap for an entire WNBA team in 2010 is $827,000, but this was
lowered to $775,000.  By 2013, the salary
cap will be $900,000 for the entire team.

In 2010, the minimum salary for a player that has three or
more years of experience is $51,000, but the maximum salary for a player who
has been in the league for six years or more is $101,500.  This makes it the first time in the history
of the league in which the players were able to earn more than $100,000.  The minimum salary for a rookie player is
$35,190.

Many of the WNBA players will add to their salary by playing
in the Australian or European women’s basketball leagues during the off-season
of the WNBA.  WNBA players are also given
bonuses for particular achievements.  For
example, a player who receives a league award will get a $5,000 bonus.  The league’s Most Valuable Player will
receive a $15,000 bonus.  There are also
playoff bonuses given to each player on the WNBA champion team, as the winning
teammates will each get a $10,500 bonus.

How does this add up?

Even if our amazing Minnesota Lynx who are currently the
only winning professional team in Minnesota were at the 2013 WNBA salary cap of
$900,000, our 4 other professional teams make 50 to 125 times more money and are
embracing the loss column.

Now, I could take the feminist road and say “GIVE OUR WOMEN
MORE MONEY!!” but other writers have already done that. We are fighting over a
stadium to a team that pays out $92 million in salary to its players in one
year and the first 3 games have looked like Viagra induced love-making
session.  We have another team that pays
out 113 million that got a stadium and look how they are doing!!

How about this thought “PAY THE GUY TEAMS LESS!” they don’t deserve it, they
can win on less, they have other options for income, and then maybe, just maybe
we would have money for stadiums and crap like that. I am a huge sports fan; I
also hunt, and dress in pink and heels, but 2.5 million for one player that
doesn’t cut the mustard? Sorry sports fans, that’s like giving a country
billions to get along with another country and then wonder why it didn’t work.

 

Numbers were compiled from sportrac.com, espn and other
sources

One Starry Night

On 31 May 1991, I ended my life as a punching bag,
sex slave, money machine and alcoholic.

This marriage did not start out this
way. But after the birth of a beautiful baby boy, the stress, as in any
marriage, started mounting. A child constantly sick with ear infections and colic,
finances disintegrating, and with this a now ex- husband’s drinking became
worse and he eventually turned to drugs. His temper and mood swings became
volatile.

One heated discussion got out of
hand and the realization that it was time to leave finally came. As he advanced
toward me with danger in his eyes he was blocked by a two foot tall
obstruction. “NO MY MOMMY” roared my son emphatically. This child had the
courage to stand up to him, what was stopping me? That night the plan to leave
was started and was further accelerated when the ex and one of his friends
raped me in a drunken, drugged up rage.

Escape was being put in place, but
“that starry night” an argument erupted and once again it was fight or flight.
This evil tried to conquer me for one last time racing out into that night. A
group of neighbors, friends even, gathered ‘round yelling and screaming but
offering no help. As if to be placing bets at a cock fight and cheering on
their prize winner.

The police finally came and took him
away into the night, my freedom in yellow arrived and the cab took us away to
the airport, flight with a different fight now.

I left with 3 carry-ons, a 16 month
old child, bruises and broken bones. Trudging busted and battered through 3
airports no one assisted until Cincinnati. She came up to us with an angelic
yet knowing smile and our bags. With no words exchanged we ran to the last and final
gate home, we made it. Now believe it or not came the tough part, resisting the
urges to return, survive the horrific nightmares, and pull every shred of
courage together to stand up to his evil threats.

On paper, the chain of ownership was
broken; the divorce was final in 1992. The chain of fear remained attached as
the nightmares and terrors continued to surround me. Dating came with distrust,
waiting for that “flash of evil” from any one of them. Trauma and terror really
do something to a person, and if you can just take the time, walk through it
with them once.

would this be funny or art ~ you tell me…

Just say turnip …..

http://skirt.com/essays/love-time-contraception

November is Epilepsy Awareness Month

Short Circuit

As an eleven-year old girl, the biggest
worries were getting homework done so I could play and having enough time to
play. In 1977 those worries would change, I was diagnosed with epilepsy.

Does anyone realize what the unknown
does to an eleven year old? When doctors, nurses, mom and dad, cannot put
anything tangible with word epilepsy? That the “big” people could give no real
explanation about why I had a short-circuit in my brain.

In that year, explanations were not
given for children’s’ differences, bullying was an everyday norm because “kids
will be kids” and we had to learn to toughen up. It was bad enough we were all
going through puberty and some of us didn’t get our parts fast enough or our
fuzzies fast enough. Then put a child’s disability, family’s income, religion,
whether they played the cool sport or cool band instrument on top of it?

For a child, friends mean everything, but with each
seizure a friend was lost. For those that think children are resilient or that
children are not tiny bigots, sorry you are wrong. By the time I was thru my
first quarter of sixth grade I had lost every friend I had. I was called
crappie floppy, retard, jerkin’, and freak-a-zoid. This name calling and banishment
was with me through 6^th, 7^th, and 8^th
grades.  Moving up to high school was a
blessing. Two middle schools, mine and another came together at the high school
level. New faces that I could make friends with.

My friends in high school were all
from the other middle school. These kids were not predisposed to the
“freak-a-zoid”. In fact, many of them never found out I had seizures. That
became my biggest worry, who would be the first to find out I had a brain
gremlin. I was not worried about the latest fashions, newest rock groups,
gossip, or staying out late. Keeping my driver’s license and my friends was all
that was important at that time.

My fears would later change to
despair. My driver’s license and my attempt at normalcy were suspended. I had
several seizures and my doctor felt it necessary to take away my driver’s
license. Do you realize you are more likely to be killed or injured by a drunk
driver than an epileptic? Also, it is easier for a DUI driver to get behind the
wheel than an epileptic, epileptics have a conscience.

My freedom taken away, my epilepsy
worsening, I tried to commit suicide. What had happened to me? This invisible
time bomb inside me had gotten to me. It had no face and no outward
description. It disappears as fast as it comes. Without warning it rears its
ugly head as I fall into strangled blackness. When I awake to panicked faces
and yelling voices, a thick, gray fog blankets my brain. My body feels like
lead and I just want to sleep.

Every parent tells their child not to
be afraid of the monsters in the dark. I would have given anything for that
simple fear. Instead, I was in a continual wrestling match with the gargoyle in
my brain.

I made it through my suicide attempt
with the love and support of my family and friends. Most said my problems
weren’t big enough. Maybe they weren’t but then….

The medications used to control
seizures can be just as scary to a child. I think that doctors take only the
“common” side effects into consideration when they should realize that all side
effects are common and the reactions are not in your head.

One of the first anticonvulsants
drugs I was on turned me from a happy-go-lucky preteen into a temper tantrum
throwing, back talking, and almost evil little girl. My mother cried her heart
breaking as she told the doctor of the darkness in my eyes.

There are also the physical effects
they tell you about. A teen shouldn’t have to worry about liver or kidney
damage because of the medication. A teen should also not have to worry about
hair loss, severe weight gain, or facial hair. Come on, adolescence is tough
enough.

All I wanted to be concerned with
was dating, dances and dresses like any other girl. Instead of dreams of
parties and football games, I had nightmares of gremlins and gargoyles dancing
on my brain. But little did I know my brain gremlin was but a little pest
compared to the real monster I was about to conquer.

bullying, invisible disability, or domestic violence…… conquering one or all can be traumatic

OCCUPY the VOTE

I am fully behind OCCUPY.

But I will also like OCCUPY to look in other directions. Your ability to vote, your ability to change the outcome of where this country is going. But your vote must start at the very bottom, not the very top.

The focus has been at the top, at the rich, at congress, at the president. But the top, the rich, congress, the president came from somewhere, they didn’t start at the top they started at the bottom. Where I am.

City Councils, School Boards, County Commissions, Township Boards, Planning and Zoning Boards and so many more. This is where these people started. This is where I started. The attention made to these seats are just as important to the attention paid to State and Federal seats.

City Councils are hiring people on their side to get information twisted in their favor. School Boards are doing the same thing…. County Commissioners are doing the same thing, twisting personell to get business deals, taxes, and foreclosures in their favor.

OCCUPY the VOTE! Please, Occupy the Vote! To change the course of America in the favor of the Citizens of America, OCCUPY the VOTE!!

Minnesota Nice

“Minnesota Nice” is great but as a great friend and professional therapist   me once, “if families ignore the wrong or evil that is going on among them, they are a group of liars”. The Minnesota Nice in us has taught us to lie to each other, that there is nothing bad going on, that no one can change to bad person. To ignore a change in the “family” goals or mission but as long as they aren’t committing adultery or child abuse we are ok (but we will still try to hide that). And because of this large group of friendly “liars” in this wonderful land that I love of 10,000 lakes, people have learned they will not get called out and can get away with anything as long as they are nice.

my fish bowl

 

it’s been a little side note for 30 years or so,

a card in my wallet, a bracelet, necklace, of whom to call or where to go

it’s been like a goldfish i must feed twice a day

but something replaced my goldfish and put a piranha there to play

 

it’s not a subtle entry but a steady barrage of hits

i didn’t see it coming, hear the splash, feel the nips

it’s a cruel evil thing with ferocious teeth and eye

it’s done after eight attacks – on the bed – lifeless there i lie

 

my family came – rescued me never seeing an attack like this

my husband asking for my return but i was lost in the abyss

i don’t remember that day – told only in story form

i don’t recall the after – those are lost forgotten torn

pieces like a patchwork quilt with greens and blues and reds

pieces mostly blacks and grays held together by a single common thread

 

i had accepted my goldfish, named it floppy, changed its water, fed it every day

where this evil finned thing did come from – why now, why change

 

i fear this ugly animal – do not wish to call it mine

but this nameless tenant of my fish bowl thinks i am it’s and will be here for some time

 

but I am back to feeding them twice a day,

regardless of its intentions and its need to get its way,

goldfish and piranha are separate now and defined,

floppy is doing well, its sharped tooth devil that is still being wined and dined.

 

and on with life we go again, a card in my wallet, a necklace around my neck,

its once again a side note, but making sure the world around me knows the side-affect.

 

Angel 371

Her name is 371, to me her name was Ann, to the coroner’s office or the those that buried her, she was known as 371. She is buried under an angel in a cemetery in my home town with all the other children that didn’t make it to term. She was 5 months old (as far as a fetus goes) but unfortunately due to the beatings received by my ex husband…. she was dead before that. I miscarried in my home town, in my parents bathroom. They never knew. I held her, I held her knowing that if I had only had the courage to leave sooner she would have  lived. The awful part was, I didn’t know I was pregnant. I don’t know when she died inside me, with what blow became the end.

Her name was Ann, but she is now number 371 under an angel in a cemetery in my home town. Angel 371…… a child that should have never been brought in to this would by force (a rape by a drunken husband and his friend), nor taken out of this world by force (a domestic violence beating that left me fleeing Florida).  Is this the world the legislature, the judeo christians, want a child brought up in?

I am blessed that my Angel Ann 371 is resting peacefully now. No hurt, no stress, no hate filled household. My Angel is resting peacefully in the arms of someone who cares. She is in Gods hands. And thank God she is not in the Republican Judeo Christian hands. I am happy she is in heaven where she can be whom ever she wishes to be. Unlike here on earth, where she would be chastised, belittled, bullied, and hated for who she was.

My little girl is in a better place because of my fear, my ignorance, my faith in my catholic church. I am in a better place because of my fear, my ignorance and my faith in my catholic church.

Angel 371….. thank you for teaching me to be the woman I am today. To hold proud to my son, to teach him to be good to women, to be civil, to be a human being.

I love you Ann.

Who Knew

When you sit across from your younger brother and tell your story of abuse and he says” I didn’t know”, when you tell stories to your mother of your middle school bullying 20 years later and she says “I didn’t know”,  when you tell your family of the middle school forum that was about you and epilepsy, and to be ”careful” with me and both say “I didn’t know”…. whose fault is it that they didn’t know. The anger I saw in my brother and father’s eyes when I told them of my abuse was heart retching. The look in my mother’s eyes when I told her of the bullying I endured was heartbreaking……. but she then understood my suicide attempt, she understood my solace, and she understood my anguish.

The things you hide from all can end up being inspiring stories for so many. I have learned to share my stories of abuse, bullying, being a military wife, being a woman, to all out there.

Who knew….. it’s not so much of “who knew” as it is for those that need to know. Those that need to know are the ones that will learn from your stories, that will take from your stories your strength, your mistakes, and your answers. Stories pass along trails and tribulations, fear and anguish, strength and fortitude. These are the things you teach other with your past and present……. and give others a future.

Happy New Year!

Sorry, been busy with family and budgets and sooo much more…. Im back again, hope everyone had great holidays and a good New Year and is look forward to 2012! I know I am! (and it has nothing to do with elections, 2011 just sucked)

Any one have any new objectives for this year?

 

My Street – by Shannon Drury, Womens Press Magazine

My Street – by Shannon Drury, Womens Press Magazine

Perspective of An Epileptic Growing Up

Reblogged from FindingStrengthToStandAgain's Blog:

Middle School                 “I don’t know what’s wrong.  I just feel weird.  It just feels like I am in a commercial I have seen before. I know what’s going on around me.  I know everyone around me.  I have seen them all before.  I just can’t join into their conversations.  I just feel different, and then I count my fingers and pat my face.  Then I am tired.” “An EEG…with all those cords???  You cannot be serious!  I can’t wear that to school!  Everyone’s …

connecting with others who are “finding strength to stand again”

How to Not Get Stung By Bees

Reblogged from Angie's Anti-Theistic Thoughts:

It is simply shocking that in the year 2012 people are still getting stung by bees, even when we all know perfectly well the best ways to avoid this. Clearly, people are being frivolous and uncareful in their personal protection and if they took this kind of threat a bit more seriously, maybe they wouldn’t hate themselves so badly after an attack. So, in the spirit of victim-shaming, let me share with you the best methods for avoiding being stung by a bee. Remember: if you are stung by a bee, you should …

This is great

Prevention: Who ME?!

Reblogged from Demand the Change, Change of Heart:

• 

By Lindsay Gullingsrud Do you like quotes?  I do.  I find that quotes can bring me to a point of clarity and often keep me on the path I wish to be on.  Whether I remember them all the time is another story, but I try.  There are a number of quotes I have read or that have been given to me over the years.  Today I am thinking of two: Be the change you want to see in the world. ~ Mahatma Gandhi You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the …

Thank you Lindsay, Eleanor’s quote has been a long loved one of mine