Saw a sign and agree…

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Saw a sign the other day that said: When life turns its back on you…grab its ass.

I’ve been away from writing for awhile because I have never seen so much chaos in one place erupt over and over again. The volcano of emotions, events, inaccuracies, and just plain “place head on wall bang head here moments”.

Last year’s major events were four weddings and funeral. This year is moving two mother’s into senior type housing. One wasn’t ready to go and one is but not to “that” place even if its one of the best in twin cities because its too far from her kids. Then there are us kids getting involved which is help and hinder at times.

What is it about mid-life you ask? Its not a crisis of sorts, it’s because there are no more children yet your parents are getting older and you are caught in between. Caught in between not have done the amazing things your parents did to show off to your kids. Not done the amazing things to show off to your spouse/partner. Not done the amazing things to call yourself amazing.

Even though you have those around you calling you amazing, there are a few you still have to prove to that you are.

Mid-life is when so many things turn on you… your body, your children, your family, your job, and so many more to I can’t name.

You are this close to retirement but also still a father or mother. You are this close to retirement but damn can’t afford anything yet. You are this close retirement yet what do you do when you quit working? The world isn’t anything like your dad/mom retired in.

So this mid-life, this crisis, this chaos, this dye your hair blonde and buy a convertible time frame…. what is it? Some say its a change in attitude but not know what to do with it, along with that, neither do those close to you. Some say it’s a last grasp at holding on to youth, what youth? which youth? whose youth? Some say its just a new way to find yourself, find myself? was I lost? was the oneself I found after high school, college, marriage, divorce, marriage, and other life events not good enough?

So, ya know what, I’m grabbing ass and holding on and leaving a big bruise.

Stop calling this a christian nation..

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We need to stop calling this a Christian Nation because we do not take care of our poor, our hungry, and our disabled. 

Republicans, stop calling this a Christian Nation, because the only people we take care of are the rich and able.

This is not a Christian Nation, because we do not follow Jesus in his preachings, we do not treat all equal, we do not feed our hungry and poor, and we do not help our disabled.
We are not a Christian Nation until we treat all equal. When women were given the right to vote there was a constant to repeal it, when Civil Rights was put in place there was a constant to repeal it, I cannot understand how our elected do not learn from their past to improve their future.
The fact that the USA had intern camps for Japanese and Germans during wars and yet know one remembers this that is elected. Maybe it is because we no longer teach this to our children.
This is not a Christian Nation, State, County, or City(s) because we do not care for our poor, hungry and disabled. We only care for our rich and able.

Never forget your past

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It’s only when your buried past is brought forward threw
That you know your future has but its forward too

But buried past is but a educational present
And what we learn/remember can’t be laid aside or left absent

Many say “forget the past” but it is our past that makes who we are
It is our past that build our present and guides our future, the road we travel and build of tar.

our piece begin with

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All of us are given the same amount of pieces when we begin. The pieces are shiny and dull, colorful and plain, even rough and smooth. Not all the pieces are perfect, some are bent, some are rusty, some are duplicates, some are even broken.

But remember this:

It is how those pieces are put together whether the first time or in remodels

When presented, those that love your project unconditionally are those that will stand by no matter what

The instruction manual is not always written in the right language

ArdentMeld

 

Basement Box Findings….

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Going through some basement boxes I came across some papers… in it was a miscellaneous envelope with this written on the back. I must have been driven, angry, or something because it is written in capital letters, pen, and only one mistake. I don’t know if this is copied from somewhere or what. The envelope stamp date is November 1995, I was living in New Brighton.

VICTIM

WHY DO WE HAVE DEMONS IN THE BACK OF OUR HEART?

WHY DO THEY INSIST ON COMING OUT AND TEARING OUR WORLD APART?

I’M LOVED, I’M SAFE, I’M HELD, I’M CARED FOR, I’M GIBRALTAR ROCK STRONG.

WHY DOES THE DEMON  MAKE ME FEEL SO SMALL, SO WEAK, SO VERY WRONG?

I’VE KNOCKED THEM BACK. I’VE LOCKED THEM UP. I’VE PUT THEM IN THEIR PLACE.

SO PLEASE TELL ME WHY THEY COME BACK OUT AND SHOW THEIR UGLY FACE.

SO I PRAY TONIGHT TO THE DEMON LEADER “ONCE AND FOR ALL LET ME BE!”

AND HE REPLIES “DEAR SWEET CHILD, YOU BELONG TO ME.”

Written sometime between 1991 and 1993 another box finding… Black/White or Kaleidoscope

When I was younger, about fourteen or fifteen, I had 3 dreams.
The first one was to be a nurse, the second was to have a happy family, and the third was to be a great singer.

It’s amazing how at that age, and even younger, you can have these great aspirations. How you think you will have the world by the tail and in someways even think you are invincible. But my grasp on the world’s tail was loosened. Loosened by the other people imposing their reality on me. It’s really interesting, if everyone had the same reality, this world would either be a very black and white world or a very large kaleidoscope.

It’s been a long night sifting through boxes. It has been a long time since I have been back here, but it is good that I am here because it is one of the reasons I am here today.
The following is a letter I found, whether it was ever published…who knows. But it was written while I was at The Refuge…

This letter is to all the men who feel they must dominate, control and abuse. This may only be one woman’s thoughts, but I feel I speak for all the abused women out there.

Dear Abuser:

We loved you. For some of us we still love you. For some of us we shared a lifetime, and of a lot of us even a family. We went into this with hopes and dreams and love. All we asked for in return was love, respect, consideration and friendship. But instead we were blamed, ridiculed, kicked down and belittled. For some of us the bruises never showed, which would have been easier if they did. At least with the physical abuse we could see and explain our torment. With the emotional and mental abuse it was not always easy to see or deal with. You took away our self esteem, our dreams, and most of all, our trust. 

For all of us we stayed. Thanking that someday you’d change. Hoping some day you would see the treasure before you. That somewhere in that twisted, paranoid mind of yours you’d come to figure out that things can be worked out without mind games, abuse or violence. But it never happened. Then when we did leave, you couldn’t believe it. You told us we didn’t have any right that we were wrong. Well….if you would have ever pulled yourself out of your self absorbed, dominating, egotistical shell, you’d have noticed that most of it was your own fault. We let you pull you down with your lies, deceit, and false promises. We let ourselves pull you up anytime you needed it. In fact, it got to the point you were standing on top of us, figuratively speaking, and we were smothering. 

Of all of us that had the courage to walk away, that had the strength to live fear, that had the love and understanding of everyone around us, we will make a stand for the rest of us still out there and we will try with all our might to wipe out abuse forever.

Sincerely,
Former Victim

My Fish Bowl

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it’s been a little side note for 30 years or so,

a card in my wallet, a bracelet, necklace, of whom to call or where to go

it’s been like a goldfish i must feed twice a day

but something replaced my goldfish and put a piranha there to play

it’s not a subtle entry but a steady barrage of hits

i didn’t see it coming, hear the splash, feel the nips

it’s a cruel evil thing with ferocious teeth and eye

it’s done after eight attacks – on the bed – lifeless there i lie

my family came – rescued me never seeing an attack like this

my husband asking for my return but i was lost in the abyss

i don’t remember that day – told only in story form

i don’t recall the after – those are lost forgotten torn

pieces like a patchwork quilt with greens and blues and reds

pieces mostly blacks and grays held together by a single common thread

i had accepted my goldfish, named it floppy, changed its water, fed it every day

where this evil finned thing did come from – why now, why change

i fear this ugly animal – do not wish to call it mine

but this nameless tenant of my fish bowl thinks i am it’s and will be here for some time

but I am back to feeding them twice a day,

regardless of its intentions and its need to get its way,

goldfish and piranha are separate now and defined,

floppy is doing well, its sharped tooth devil that is still being wined and dined.

and on with life we go again, a card in my wallet, a necklace around my neck,

its once again a side note, but making sure the world around me knows the side-affect.

The New Year…

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Oh My Gosh!!

Last year we had 4 weddings and a funeral.. seriously.

This year I am seriously hoping that all nieces and nephews are married. Having babies can be done from long distance.

2014 is going to be a year of moving people, people getting better, people finding “new jobs”, people relocating.

2014 is also going to be an amazing year of being a part of groups that re-identify, part of groups that say WTF?!
Part of groups that give thhhhbbbb before lunch… and instead make that group earn lunch and off time.

It’s been an icky 2 years. I have one more year to fight for my brain before I come back and say I running for….

If Gabby can do it…. dammit so can I.

4 weddings and a funeral..

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2013 has been an amazing year. One of celebration and grief.

Grief from the end of the year before of a wife and husband/brother. Grief from this year of the loss of a husband of 67 years.

Celebration of 4 new beginnings. 4 couples joining in family and friends presence and to joyously say to each other “I believe that we will be together through thick and thin to death do we part”.

It has been an odd year of gatherings and separations of families, an odd year of some finding strength and some waiting for the bottom of the barrel to hit.

It is my hope that 2014 is a brighter, slower, peaceful, and more self oriented year for all.

It is my hope that 2014 is one focused on change for self for all.

It is my hope that 2014 is quiet.

PTSD: What to expect from friends and family.

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me:

Thank you for sharing..

Originally posted on C PTSD - A Way Out:

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The world can not feel or see our trauma, PTSD or suffering.
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I have found very few care or try to understand.
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If words or comments stop you from healing then suffering is your plight.
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Healing is not for the squeamish, the timid, the ones looking for a short cut, a pill.
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Healing comes with great effort and discipline of a daily practice.
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Healing comes from within, discovered by exploring the inner world through focus on the breath.
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healing comes from the person staring back at you in the morning in the mirror.
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Why the negative, the disbelief, the blame.

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Wow it has been an interesting year. Loss and gain of loved ones. It is amazing how much love was in a room to celebrate the end of a life, the beginning of a life, and the beginning of two lives together.

And yet in between all those celebrations there is still blame, negativity, and disbelief.

How is it when family and friends come together, that before and after the hurt and hostility is still the same. How can LOVE be blooming for a day and then lost the next?

How can a mother shut out her son?

How can a son side with his bride about what she believes is his family’s history?

When is it time to shut out the negative and concentrate on the positive? When is it time to no longer care about who no longer believes in you? When is it time to explain the blame and who is responsible and that it may even be yourself but it may hurt others?

When is it time to walk away?

So much love in one room, so much happiness, so many good memories, yet…..

What is FAMILY….

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What is FAMILY? I have been asking that question for the last 3 years. Actually more than that but that had only to do with one relative. But recently, I have seen judgement from family members who have been in the same place I have been, who have no reason to judge because they have no fucking clue where me and my husband have been. The amazing thing about family is none of them ask if you are okay expecting a real answer, an truthful answer, a god honest answer. And when you give that god honest answer the subject is changed as quick as possible or you are judged.

I have two families that have never been in my shoes yet think I am faking my epilepsy, I have two families that have no clue what my husband has been through on his 3 deployments yet feel he should just be able to buck up and move on.

Well, this weekend, with our falling down house that was almost foreclosed on and a couple of family members that sat criticizing it during my husbands birthday, we came to a decision.

We have family, but only those that will not judge us, that will not criticize us, that will not blame us unless they have walked in our shoes.

We have had the bible verses thrown in our faces so many times and yet we have family members that do not follow them.

We have friends that act more like family than many of our family.

I am done trying to make things perfect for my so called perfect family. I am done trying to explain what is going on that is make me not so perfect.

I am perfect as far as God is concerned and so is my Husband. If my families do not think so…. well you can meet with God on that one.

ArdentMeld

SEIZURE, SEIZURE, Someone had a SEIZURE!!!

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Call the docs, Call the Bishops, Call the Warlocks! Call the the the the

…. for Petro’s sake take a pill.

If it is the first or second one then call an ambulance…maybe… if there is someone on hand that knows how to take care of someone that has a seizure than go that route.

People with seizures at one time were considered gods/high priests/lords then something went wrong…. and for the rest of you…I will let all of you look that painful story up.

It has taken since then, for us to pull ourselves out of dark pits, insane asylums, state hospitals, and more. And now, for pigskins sake, we have a MAN, a REAL MAN, a FOOTBALL COACH, having seizures.

I wonder how many other of the 60,000 epileptics in Minnesota had a seizure on Saturday. The MOMs, the DADs, the CHILDREN, the COLLEGE KIDS (like Representative Abeler who unfortunately lost his to SUDEP), the STOREKEEPERS, the BANKERS, the GOVERNMENT WORKERS, just to name few.

The difference between us and Coach is the stupid news keeps reporting it like its some kind of awful thing. Of those 60,000 epileptics we don’t have to report it to you stupid sports reporters every time it happens.

A seizure is normal, just like low sugar is in diabetes, just like high blood pressure, just like migraines, just like a heart attack, and can be dealt with medically or sometimes surgically. There are some seizures that are not easy to control. But those like Coach’s and mine are controlled by medication, I have mine for 34 years, had a family, worked, and more.

If the College would ignore the fans ignorant and bigoted outbursts and ranting, then all will go away. If the news will quit reporting a normal life situation, or start reporting it as a normal life situation maybe the world would treat at as normal life situation.

Over and Out

ArdentMeld

PS.

Okay, explanation simple for your sports people to understand (I’m a sports person too I just don’t let it take up every aspect of my life)

A seizure is kinda like when a breaker goes out in your house’s breaker box during a game and the t.v., stereo, and cable go out in the living room and you have to down to the basement and flip the switch and guess what, everything is back on and alright again.

That’s what’s goes on in an epileptic’s head, so….the more the paper keeps reporting it, the more we are going to stress about it, the more we are going keep crappy floppy all over the place, the more you idiots are gonna complain.

SO STOP IT!!!

Thanks

Summer nearing an end….

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Well, summer is nearing the end, the vegetable garden is coming to a close on certain things but the canning and freezing has been a blast.  Married off our only child, said farewell to a father and a sister. Seasons come and seasons go that’s how the song goes right?

Along with that comes doors opening and doors not necessarily closing but left for a later time or to come back to when no more doors need opening.  It’s amazing when you come to a place in life that some call crisis, others call midlife, lets just call it make the best or better of it.

So if you married off your kid, had the possibility to change jobs for maybe the better, it meant moving from somewhere you have lived for 30 yrs (give a few excursions), but it was your midlife crisis. What would you do?

Hope everyone had an amazing summer!

Hope and Happiness
ArdentMeld

tribute to mom…

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If only all of us could do this for our moms….. a salute to all mom’s thru out the world, and to my mom who helped me be the person I am today…

Stephen Colbert pays tribute to his mother on “The Colbert Report”Fair

warning: Watching the man (Colbert himself, not his “Colbert Report” character) remember his mother may move you to tears, or make you want to call your own mother, or both

 

http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-207_162-57590229/stephen-colbert-pays-tribute-to-his-mother-on-the-colbert-report/

Kitchen Klutzes of America Day

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me:

To all my fellow klutzes I salute you!

Originally posted on Eatocracy:

While you’re frying up some eggs and bacon, we’re cooking up something else: a way to celebrate today’s food holiday.

If at first you don’t succeed, fry, fry again — June 13 is Kitchen Klutzes of America Day!

There’s an inner kitchen klutz in all of us. Even the best chefs slice their fingers, burn their forearms on oven doors and drop plates full of food.

Here are some tips for the two most common kitchen accidents: cuts and burns.

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hiatus, blog back off, furlough, timeout……

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Ahhh, spring or summer or whatever we call here in the north land has hopefully finally arrived. The backup on home and yard projects is very very very long.

So, I will be taking the next couple months off from writing and posting unless something absolutely necessary needs to be brought to our attention.

I hope everyone has a wonderful couple of months

Love and Peace

Ardent Meld

observe, observe, observe, observe, observe, observe,

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me:

So VERY true

Originally posted on C PTSD - A Way Out:


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Whenever we feel resistance, agitation or the desire to avoid, an opportunity to integrate, to heal, to at least understand our own body mechanisms, and patterns of behavior appears.
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Healing happens when we observe not avoid or dissociate into the storyline.
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Healing happens when we face and go towards our triggers.
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Healing goes through fear and storyline not around in a distraction mode of living.
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Healing happens while sitting quietly becoming familiar with our inner world.
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Healing happens quicker with daily practice and application, a fact.
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Practice, practice, exert energy for healing.
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34 Greatest Quotes About What It Means To Be A Woman

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Thought Catalog:

Ah, it will be a great day when they stop with “1st woman ……” to accomplish something.

Originally posted on Thought Catalog:

Why is it men are permitted to be obsessed about their work, but women are only permitted to be obsessed about men? Barbara Streisand
The thing women have yet to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just take it. Roseanne Barr
People don’t want to see women doing things they don’t think women should do. Joan Jett
Bitches get stuff done. Tina Fey
I like being a woman, even in a man’s world. After all, men can’t wear dresses, but we can wear the pants. Whitney Houston
Intimacies between women often go backwards, beginning in revelations and ending in small talk. Elizabeth Bowen
Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, “She doesn’t have what it takes.” They will say, “Women don’t have what it takes.” Clare Boothe Luce
I feel there is something unexplored about woman…

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MAD WORLD ~ Gary Jules (Tears for Fears)

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All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It’s a very, very mad world mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what’s my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I’m dying
Are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It’s a very, very mad world … mad world
Enlarging your world
Mad world

730 Days and Counting – Activation, Deployment, Return and Reunion – Sequester/Furlough be damned

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  • I have decided to re-post this because of the sequester and the furlough. Roughly 1200 full-time National Guardsmen and women will be cut to 32 hours a week because the defense budget hasn’t been ratified. That means 26% of these Guardsmen and women’s paychecks will be cut, including my husband’s. I would have to guess that most of these full timers are veterans. Most of these full timers have families. And last but not least, how many of these full timers are still fighting combat stress or PTSD.  
    If you wish to call and give your opinion here is the phone number to the National Guard Bureau Public Affairs Dept. 703-607-2584 
  • Almost 7 years later and and a 2nd deployment in between I post this because the Defense Dept. has cut deployment return time off funding to our troops….my troops…..your troops and I’m find myself having to be angry once again. like I was in 2005, like I was in 1998 when I began MY warfare against the Federal Government, Congress, and the Defense Dept. on behalf of our troops and their families. Do I have to light my torch again?

I was driving home from work on 35E when my husband called and said the official word had finally come in. Orders had been cut, his unit would be heading to train in WI and then off to Iraq. I had been prepared for this call for some time now but for some reason a sense of dread, panic and utter loneliness overcame me and I found myself pulled over on the side of the highway during rush hour trying to fathom what was to come.

Now began the long weeks of readiness, briefings, tears, and the unknown. On Dec 7 2003 our guys were activated, and a week later they convoyed out to WI for 1 to 3 months of training. The first week in Feb. my husband and the rest of the unit landed in Kuwait, the hours and minutes of unknown had begun. Sporadic updates, sporadic communications, and ever changing conditions for our soldiers began to wear on our families. CNN and MSNBC and others like them were evil allies in making life worse for our military families. Death, death and more death was all they would report and the fact that military families didn’t seem to have the same rights as civilians when it came to the death of a loved one just made us feel even more insignificant. By month three my TV remained off but my phone and my computer remained at the ready as did every other family member’s, waiting, waiting for a connection to the life they knew before.
For those of you with loved ones at home, maybe you can understand this analogy. Imagine if you can your child or loved one going out or leaving the house and then not calling when they don’t come home at the pre-determined time. Now it’s two hours past that time, now 6 hours. Imagine that feeling for 365 to 545 days in a row. The only problem with this scenario is that you can’t call them, or their friends or the workplace or hangout. You are stuck waiting and hoping that all is well. There is always the saying “No news is good news”, but it is very hard to get in that frame of mind when it comes to a loved one.

It is now Aug 2004 and I can’t tell you when it happened or why it happened but I am sure it was an accumulation of sleepless nights, raising a teen, a house that refused to stay intact for more than a month are among a few. But I think it was mainly that many were so uncaring and unaware that military families existed and the sacrifices they were making. I don’t remember the exact day it happened but I went from being a veteran FRG volunteer and military family voice and then the spark went out. Everything that I had loved about being part of the camaraderie, the loyalty and caring just wasn’t important anymore. It became more about self preservation than it did about the group as a whole.

My husband came home in Jan 2005, it is now Dec 2005, seven hundred thirty plus days and counting. We have been through return, we were going through reunion and then the military again seemed to think that reunion and readiness with family was not as important as getting troop equipment ready for a deployment. For three months (June-Sept) my husband and co-workers spent weeks away from home and came home weekends. Every project that had been put off for the last 2 years due to his deployment was now put off again and so was our family’s reunion progress. Not only was this an emotional and mental strain, but it was also a financial strain as well, we were now back to square one.

Molly Pitcher would be proud….

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I am Molly Pitcher, who no woman’s group believes should be honored…. I am a Guard Wife… and just to remind all of you AGAIN!!!
molly-pitcher-award
“I Am A Guard Wife”

It was my hand that caught up the plow my husband let fall when he answered the call at Lexington and Concord.
Through the dark years of country’s birth I fought too working the land, rearing the children, nursing the sick and wounded, conservator of the life for which he fought.

For I am a Guard Wife and I am proud. For two hundred years in every armed conflict, I have said goodbye with aching heart and smiling face when my husband went to war. I knew the perilous days of 1812 and suffered the searing agony of the Civil War. Through the holocaust of two World Wars, I waited, lonely and fearful. Yet I never despaired for I knew the stubborn will of the Guardsman. I know the shining courage which makes him so valiant a soldier and I have matched it with my woman’s courage that deals with the living, not dying, shouldering added responsibilities, holding the family together, bolstering morale, preserving the American Ideal in a world at war.

I am a Guard Wife and I am proud. In peace I work beside my civilian soldier to build a better world. I put aside the annoyances of drill weekends and camp periods.For I know that these make him the bone and sinew of our country’s defenses. I know he is learning the skills and discipline that make him ready in emergencies. When he protects others from danger, preserves the peace or gives comfort and aid in disaster, I understand and give him my support. For that has always been my job: nurturer, comforter, and healer.

I am a Guard Wife and I am proud. When I hear the fearful talk of abuse of power growing into dictatorship or read stories of military take-over I am not afraid for my country.

For I know the Guard: trained, skilled and strong, each man matured and strengthened in the home I have helped to build, to be tough, independent-thinking and self-reliant. Civilian-Builder. Soldier-Protector. Custodian of Democracy. By his side I stand, Wife of a Hero, Mother of Generations, Keeper of Ideals, Custodian of the Future. I do not fear for the United States of America.

For I am a Guard Wife and I am proud. I am Molly Pitcher, I am Laurie, I am ETAB Family…

Author: Harriet A. Daffron, Wife, Iowa ARNG

Paglia: If You Can’t Stand Her, Come Sit By Me.*

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Originally posted on :

Oh, Camille. 

First, h/t Clarisse Thorn, who brought this to my attention.  Camille Paglia, the ur-concern troll of academic feminism, is apparently still writing for publication.  I suppose I had assumed as much, since concern trolls of a certain kind are never really out of a job.  What she purports to do here is review three books.  That’s not fair.  She actually reviews three books.  Then she departs from reviewing and begins pontificating, ending in the sort of embarrassing faceplant that Pee Wee Herman had the comic timing to pull off with a snarky “I meant to do that.”

The books she reviews are:  Dr. Staci Newmahr’s Playing On The Edge;  Dr. Margot D. Weiss’s Techniques of Pleasure; and Dr. Danielle Lindemann’s Dominatrix.  I’m familiar with some of this material.  I read Newmahr’s book and I’ve had a few conversations with the author (I could be called biased; while…

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Invasion Of The Bodysnatchers

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me:

very well done Thomas, thank you

Originally posted on :

[Content Note for rape and kidnapping, and general rape culture.]

They look just like everybody else.

It’s not an easy thing to keep in your head.  Disney movies have taught us that villains look like villains.* But in real life, they look like everybody else.

Once they get caught, and we see a mugshot and they look like they were up all night drinking and then groped a stranger in a parking lot and were driven off by force, it’s easy to see them for what they are.  But in the office, before Jeff Krusinski got arrested, he looked like a normal person.  Someone gave him the job of heading up sexual assault prevention for the Air Force.  In hindsight, it seems like a cruel joke, or a deliberate effort to put the fox in charge of the henhouse.  Rather like putting a pedophile in charge of…

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May I have your attention please

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me:

re-blog because here is another school/school district doing nothing to protect children from bullies. i hope something is done soon so this young man can get help and this action is stopped.

Originally posted on blessedx5ks:

fireworksNow that I have your attention….

I have written briefly about this in an earlier post. But I felt the need to write just about this one particular problem this time. To support my daughter and to learn from all of our mistakes through my written word.

Rebecca is late….she is never late…

My 9 year daughter has a young man in her class that thrives on getting attention. There are a lot of children and adults that are like this. But this particular young man thrives on stalking my daughter. That is really the only word, besides bullying, that I can think of using for this particular young man, let’s call him “A”.

“A” has been, oh let’s call it, interested in Rebecca since the firt day of school. Now keep in mind we just moved here. She’s the new kid and she is a pretty little girl. Long…

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What Does A Strong Female Role Model Look Like?

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Thought Catalog:

Interesting thoughts and looks at the differences between princesses and battle women and the generations.

Originally posted on Thought Catalog:

Two billion dollars. That’s how much the Top 5 superhero movies grossed in America in 2012. That’s more than Somalia’s annual GDP. According to some estimates, that’s how much money is spent yearly in the global black market firearms trade. It’s definitely enough paper to buy you half of an aircraft carrier, one with all the bells and whistles. And that wasn’t even the global box office for the movies. That’s just the domestic take. Hollywood may be dumb but the town’s not stupid. Every film studio knows, when they get it right, superhero franchises are money-printing machines. It’s almost that time of year again when superheroes bash their way back onto movie screens all around the world for their annual takeover of our summertime cinema. But for another year, a growing audience is left to wonder…

Why is there no Wonder Woman movie?

She’s everyone’s favorite female superhero. C’mon… do you wanna…

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Quote:

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There’s things that happen in a person’s life that are so scorched in the memory and burned into the heart that there’s no forgetting them.

John Boyne

April 28, 1789: The real-life mutiny that inspired John Boyne’s novel, Mutiny on the Bounty, took place aboard the HMS Bounty 224 years ago today. Half the ship’s crew, seduced by several months of good life on Tahiti, rose up against Captain William Bligh. Some of the mutineers’ descendants still live on Pitcairn Island.

Dissociative Fear looks or feels like this!!!!!!

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me:

Great article

Originally posted on C PTSD - A Way Out:


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The military and police teach a special stance and grip for firing a weapon under intense fear and pressure. This special technique stands up under our adrenal response mechanism, that is adrenaline and cortisol dumping into our system.
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We feel like this barn, under enormous pressure to escape this fate. This visual is the scariest scenario we can imagine, whatever that may be for each individual. Anyone with PTSD knows the pressure this barn is under.
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PTSD brings the same intense, adrenal response as cops or soldiers face. The exact, same mechanism pumps blood to our extremities, increases heart rate, blood pressure and respiration, along with inducing tunnel vision, loss of fine motor skills, release of cortisol and adrenaline and some loss of hearing.
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That is why the breathing track works so well, it is simple, concrete and repeatable under intense pressure.
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The breathing…

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Will I Remember How To Love You

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Thought Catalog:

Very well done and is exactly how I am loved.

Originally posted on Thought Catalog:

When I finally meet you, will I remember how to love you? I think, somewhere in the last–what is it now? Almost 4 years?–of being mostly alone, or at least not in love, maybe I forgot what you’re supposed to do when you are in love. For instance, will I remember how to pull my limbs in from my nightly spread eagle in bed, and not hate you for taking up half the space that has, for so long, been mine, ALL MINE, GOD DAMNIT?

Will I remember how to lie awake on Sunday morning while you sleep, counting the freckles that pepper your back? Will I remember how to care about all the boring, stupid minutiae of your job, and I don’t mean just pretend to care, but actually, genuinely give a shit when you call me up to tell me how your boss did so and so and…

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shattered faith/belief

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Here’s the church
Here’s the steeple
Open the doors…..

Ah children’s rhymes, so simple back in the day and yet speak so many truths now.

Taught to believe when we were young, believe in fairy tales, in knights in shining armor, in wrongs being righted, in the truth.

Then we grow up, and little by little those beliefs are slowly torn away.

Torn away by false faces, fake smiles, and small minds.

Having the honor of being taught by some great leaders in life, only to see idiots replace them.

Being part of some great movements only to see them torn down by pride or self involvement.

Seeing great people go forward only to have them sucked up by bigotry and lies.

Having faith in a cause, belief in a project, total everything in a group…

Only to see it screwed up by humans. Humans using these things to further themselves and not the cause,

humans more bigoted then the others they are fighting, hypocritical humans leading a cause for supposed good.

Some may call this a mid-life crisis, others may call this a coming to a realization, there are many more names for what this is….

It is called realizing the wrong people are put on pedestals, and the worshiping is now over.

There are few humans to have faith in and none of those speak out loud, use a microphone or an altar. None of them use a grandstand or video.

None of them use fancy buildings or finances.

Open the doors and see all the people,
Close the doors, done for the day
Open the doors they’ve all gone away.

You don’t need a steeple and people to believe..

 

When I Turn Away…

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When I shift my posture, fold my arms and turn away it means I don’t want to hear it again.

I’ve been here done this for over 30 years and I know the pain I cause.

When I cross my legs and look at the floor the conversation is something dark to me.

I’ve been here done this for over 20 years and I know the pain I’ve lived.

When I excuse myself or just walk away the words are more traumatic than you will ever know.

I’ve been here done this for over 20 years and I know the pain I have yet to resolve.

When I sit forward in my seat, clasp my hands, and bounce my leg, it is something that I believe in but is being threatened.

I’ve been here before, I have seen it repeat itself over and over and I have no patience left.

When I stand up in a sitting crowd, muscles tense and ready to scream out loud, but instead I walk out of the room, it is because all that has gone forward has hit a dam, and all is being washed downstream in the collapse.

I’ve been here before, watched Ignorance lead the pack while Backbone shrivels and dies.

Done

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Attentiveness or Bliss

Anger or Ignorance

What is the difference?

 

Standing up, singing lauds

Playing sides, giving cause

 

But who’s at fault, to blame

Why the rally, or campaign

For both Able and Kane

 

Stop your supposed moral strong

Quit your righteous wrong

For it has been going on far too long

 

Fighting the purchased, why

Believing an acquired campaign, sigh

Repeating lie after lie after lie

 

 

 

 

Steubenville’s Jane Doe asked people to do something…

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Please re-blog this, share this anyway you know how.

http://holzmantweed.tumblr.com/post/45729405362/steubenvilles-jane-doe-asked-people-to-do-something

The best way to show you support Jane Doe is to make a donation, however small and leave a Paypal note when you do saying “In the name of Jane Doe, Steubenville.” They are telling her how many people donate in her name so it’s a direct way of letting her know. Even if all you can afford is a dollar, a thousand WordPress users donating that is a thousand dollars for abuse victims. And it’s also a thousand people telling her directly that they, unlike the likes of CNN and her erstwhile “friends”, care about her, support her, and believe in her. It’s what she has actually asked people to do. In a case where she has been so effectively silenced and sidelined, I think acknowledging she’s been heard is particularly important.

(edited from createourownlight.tumblr.com original post)

Wonder women rising

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me:

One Billion Rising

Originally posted on Minnesota Feminists Speak Out!:

 Cross-posted at Shannon’s blog The Radical Housewife.  

 

Whatever your feelings about the obnoxious commercialization of Valentine’s Day, put them aside and consider the goals of today’s OTHER big campaign, One Billion Rising.

 

…and whatever your feelings about the largely symbolic nature of the One Billion Rising movement (and I share them, believe me), consider that Katie Couric, hardly a radfem, just Tweeted“1in3 women on the planet will be raped or beaten in her life.”  Anything that gets that TRUTH spoken more often in public is, to my mind, a step in the right direction.

Do you remember the first time you heard that statistic?  I do.  I couldn’t believe it–and really didn’t believe it until a friend told me what happened to her.  Then another friend told me her story.  Then another and another and another.  As a member of the randomly lucky…

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Very well written, optimism is a great seed to plant….

Originally posted on FindingStrengthToStandAgain's Blog:

Late last week, I was asked, “Are you a motivational speaker?”  I didn’t even hesitate when I answered, “I hope not.”

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Please, do not misunderstand me; I have listened to some amazing motivational speakers.  I have had chills as they energized me to run from the room and hurry to go accomplish my goals.  I have wanted to set the world on fire as they predicted I could.  On my first business cards, it states “motivational speaker and author”.  Yet, just as life changes around us, I evolve, too.  When I speak, I no longer strive to set your world on fire and make you want to run from the room to sell the next 10,000 pieces of your product, make you stop your bad habits or set fire to your world.

Rather, I want to offer you seeds.  As I reach a greater audience, I have realized I want…

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me:

***Trigger warning for sexual assault, victim blaming***
Reproductive Freedom, Violence Against, Women, War on Women

Thanks MN NOW!!

Originally posted on Minnesota Feminists Speak Out!:

***Trigger warning for sexual assault, victim blaming***

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Barbara Kruger created this famous poster for a women’s rights march on Washington in 1989.  That the message remains chillingly relevant is a testament both to Kruger’s talent and to the continuous, relentless attacks on women’s bodily autonomy….and just when you think you can’t be MORE shocked, MORE disgusted, or MORE outraged, you are.

A Minnesota NOW friend who wishes to remain anonymous wrote us this powerful account of her reaction to the news that a New Mexico legislator would criminalize abortions after rape on the grounds that it would be “tampering with evidence.”

No, your eyes didn’t just explode–that’s actually what Rep. Cathrynn Brown suggested in a bill she introduced on January 24.

From our friend:

At age 17 I was raped by a young man I knew, at age 24 I was raped by two men I knew.  At…

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40th Anniversary of Roe v. Wade and I still don’t have equal rights..

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****Trigger warning for sexual assault, victim blaming***

I’m writing this today because I really don’t know what else to do. I while ago I published a post saying I was no longer going to be an advocate/activist for Violence Against Women, Domestic Violence Laws, Rape Victims and so on because I needed to move on. But I finally realized today it is not so much that I need to move on, but it is because I am in the wrong generation. My generation has failed it’s women and children. My generation has failed its unions and workers. My generation has failed to remember that when you take the oath of office it is the same one that a military soldier takes.

This is supposedly a new millennium, and the next generation is here to hopefully to save our asses. I have already seen my son learn from our many mistakes and do so much better at 23 than I was doing at that age when I had him. This new millennium is also supposedly the end of the patriarch and the beginning of the matriarch if you reach outside your christian beliefs and real read facts or care about the other religions and non-religions going on.

Three bills were proposed across this great land of ours (this once great land of ours) that give more rights to a rapists than the survivor or the survivor’s family.

The other reason I am writing this today is because when I heard about the bill in New Mexico I could not let it go and decided to write the rebuttal below. I wonder if any of the elected officials proposing the asinine bills have ever thought about these consequences.

At age seventeen I was raped by a young man I knew, at age twenty-four I was raped by two men I knew.  At age seventeen I had an abortion, at age twenty-four I was escaping a violent marriage. Unfortunately I had a miscarriage 5 months later in my parent’s bathroom. I had no idea I was pregnant, and was told she probably died at 3 months because of the beatings I took from my ex-husband.

A bill was introduced that rape victims carry their rapists’ child as evidence.

If I had to carry my rapist’s child (my ex-husband would not have been named a rapist) his friend may have…. what would I have told my son, 18 months old.  What would I have told him about his sibling especially if it wasn’t his father’s? What would I have told my son about his sibling while I went to court? What would I have told my son about his sibling if my rapist wanted joint custody and his father didn’t  What would happen when my husband adopts my son, but isn’t allowed to adopt my rapist’s child because a rapist has more rights than my husband?

For the men and women introducing these bills on behalf of the religious organizations that supported you and the other pro-life organizations that endorsed you, I know you have been asked what if this happened to your daughter. Well that doesn’t matter because all of you can afford the back room abortions, while people like me, would have had to rely on a shop vac, coat hanger, or many other life threatening devices.

If I had to give my rights to my rapists, I tell you right now, I would have dropped my son off at my parents and drove out to the country and shot myself in the head. I would not have put my parents and my son through the blind, bogus, bigoted, treatment, which you decided to enact.

Sacred, Superior, and Coconuts…

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About a year ago I wrote a piece titled “King, Excalibur, and his Holy Grail….” it was a parody look at Rep. King, Rep. De Graaf, Ben Stein and several others “I can’t believe they just said that” type comments using bits from Monty Python.

Lately I have thought a lot about Mr. Python and his Flying Circus as I pound my head on my key board one more time. At the time I wrote that piece last May, I had more hope, less sarcasm (really i did) less anger, and a strength that I could still help change our world. It is amazing what changes in a year.

The Holy Grail is still firmly in its Palace. Program Interruptions have yet to be acknowledged and a Greater Being is taking control. Preaching out loud The Meaning of Life, singing Sacred Sperms from the roof tops, and if you don’t have it..just pretend. With Coconuts.

Today a BREAKING story is more of was their gender, religion, or status to blame. Innocent until proven guilty is a sacred guideline for the news media and law enforcement until it comes to victims or survivors. Freedom of speech, Freedom of guns, and the Freedom of asinine nation has gone into full effect.

There are two quotes from Monty Python that are now constantly on my mind these days. From “The Meaning of Life”

“Ugh, you f*cking Americans are so POMPOUS! None of you have any balls! AND

“Shut up! Shut up you American. You always talk, you Americans. You talk and you talk and say ‘Let me tell you something’ and ‘I just wanna say this’. Well you’re dead now, so shut up.”

So we need to interrupt this program. Apologies for the unwarranted attacks by the supporting groups, we are luckily ready for such a problem and will remedy it as quickly as possible…..

While we watch the purchase of assault weapons rise, the rights of women fall, our veterans die, christian religion continue to take over, and our schools fail, I ask you one question.

The worst thing about all this is the parallel’s I see that the line between church and state is disappearing, the rich and white are the only ones being educated, fed, and premiered  and our well-regulated militia is becoming a psychotic army. We never learn from our past mistakes do we? And we never teach our children about them.

Clip Clop, Clip Clop, Clip Clop. You can’t expect to wield supreme power just because some half-written, misquoted book threw a make-believe sword at you do you? Oh my bad. Then off to get your french tickler, impregnate all you can, and spread your “wisdom” just because a book says it is so.

We Americans are so f*cking POMPOUS we don’t have a collective back bone to save our country if we tried. And that goes for myself, I seriously don’t know who and what to fight for or against. I am angry and hurt by those I was raised to trust.

Clip Clop, Clip Clop, Clip Clop……..

 

 

Thank you to our past but…

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I do believe there are many in my place; those raised by depression era parents, traditionalists, but somehow free thinkers. Those of us in my same predicament, find it hard to adhere to one word terms for the constitutional rights of all.

I have called myself a feminist for a long time but have always felt a slam in my gut when I said it. It alienated too many of the people I grew up with, to many of the people I worked with, to many of the people I befriended over the years. Feminism has taught me many things, so has fighting against domestic violence, so has fighting against bullying, so has fighting for the rights of military families and veterans, so has fighting for glbt rights, and so has fighting for the rights of epileptics and their families.

Feminism was a great effort, Gloria and the many other women fought very hard for our few rights but I think it is now time to change the tune and drop the fem from ism and introduce a new word.

My parents always believed in equality, they fought for it in wars that we will never compare to. They stood in lines for food that we will never see. Our parents, uncles, aunts saw battles on the streets that we will never comprehend and are no longer taught in our schools. Our children today don’t even remember Roe vs. Wade.

Equal needs to replace Female; Equal needs to become Equalism and Equalist. We need to start fighting for the rights of all, regardless of gender, race, or religion. Regardless of status, wealth, or age, we need to start fighting for all living in America, in the United States. Or am I just throwing out words and it is no longer the United States of America where people come to gain freedom and acceptance? When are we going to get past 9/11? We got past Pearl Harbor, even though we threw every Asian person in America in a concentration camp. But we don’t tell our children of the mistakes we made, we tell them of the tragedies that other evil countries made and make them bias, bigoted, and hateful.

It’s time to fight for equality for all who live in this country. It’s time to fight for your neighbor, your co-worker, the stranger you just passed today, maybe even yourself. Equality for all that live here in this wonderful land we call home.  It’s time to become an Equalist.

 

 

Time to move on….

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A time to move on…

In 1991 I came home to Minnesota battered and broken from my first marriage. I carried with me my son, my life, and a ruined dream.

We look now 20 years later, married again to my first love, our son is grown, engaged, and building a home for himself and his love.

I have had an amazing life so far, with the help of friends and family, with the support of amazing women and men, with the understanding of those around me.

But I came to a decision at the end of November this year, with almost 20 years of advocating and activating for the rights of domestic assault/violence victims I have decided to pass the torch on to someone else. I have forgiven/passed on/and rubbed out all done against me. It is also time for me to close these doors and open new ones that don’t place angst upon my husband.

Some months ago I received a call from police officer, a body was in a morgue and a card in her pocketbook had my name on it if anything happened to her. It was early in the morning; I received a car ride down to identify her. When I saw her face I stood there silent, I stood there shocked, I stood there disbelieving. The last time I saw her face was 20 years ago, she and I were at the same shelter going through the same terror. She and I went through the same counseling, the same guidance, the same love and hope. Yet here I stood over her. Identifying her and some months later would receive her ashes in the mail because no one claimed her.

I will still do my part, but I am done telling my story, I am done being the advanced party, I am done fighting the awareness of it all. It is time to move on and have someone else tell their story, someone else fight the fight. I am too tired, too trodden, too angry, to fight anymore.

So please, stop the awareness of domestic violence and start the STOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE…. We are already aware, it needs to stop, now.

Ms. Livingston I Applaud You

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In the news, Facebook, at water-coolers and coffee breaks across our land, a newswoman’s graceful and poignant stance being discussed. Jennifer Livingston took a very sharp stab at her weight from a viewer and turned it into a positive. I watched Ms. Livingston’s four-minute piece, and for me, the best part of it was when she spoke of parents teaching their children by example. Good or Bad, children watch us adults and learn what is wrong and right according to you. The habits you display are the habits they pick up and cleaning and smoking aren’t the only ones.

October is Anti-Bullying Month, and for those of you in Minnesota, bullying has been center stage for a few years in our state. The old adage “Kids will be Kids” is no longer acceptable and is no longer in our schools and playgrounds. It is not tolerated as adults as we look at the recent incident on the light rail of a man who started yelling racial slurs or the recent road rage incident that unfortunately ended in a shooting in a police parking lot. Child bullies become adult bullies because their parents or adult figure is or was a bully.

Bullied children are verbally abused about their appearance and behavior than color or creed. Thirty-three percent of the middle and high school students surveyed agree or strongly agrees that teachers can stop bullying. This means that 2/3 of these students are not confident that they can get help from their teachers when bullied.

Male bullying more commonly consists of verbal and physical abuse, because female bullying more commonly involves more verbal abuse and social bullying by spreading of rumors. Eighty-three percent of bullying incidents receive no intervention and continue to happen. Children who are bullies four times more likely to engage in criminal behavior in adulthood and often develop suicidal thoughts.

October has two Anti/Awareness Campaigns, one is for Bullying and one is Domestic Violence and I am very aware of the connection between the two. The unlikely intervention because it goes unreported, thinking that a report is useless because a teacher or police officer cannot fix it immediately the first time it happens. How your self-worth becomes lower and lower in your stomach.

It is Anti Bullying Month, notice it is not Bullying Awareness Month, we need to do the same with Violence…….make us anti not aware.

Aware

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We are asked to become aware of many things, school zones, flashing lights, and calories to name a few. Awareness has also become the named honor of many days, weeks and even months in our calendar. But what is “being aware” of something exactly? To be conscious, sensitive, knowledgeable of something that exists or you have observed it happening, is to “be aware”.

We have many federal, state, local and non-profit organizations asking that we be aware of many things. We are mindful of homelessness, conscious of mental illness, perceptive of rape, interested in domestic violence, attentive to hunger, discerning of disabilities, cognizant of breast cancer, and experienced about PTSD.

Aware is a nice PR word advocating for something, but being aware does not bring about a need for an end. Requesting someone be aware of sex trafficking is only asking that they be informed and attentive, it is not asking for a stop to sex trafficking nor is it asking to charge the ignorant (which is the opposite of aware by the way).

So when are we going to go from requesting people be aware to demanding them to halt, prevent, end, block, cease, bar, prohibit, sojourn, or impede the many things that need to stop.

The month of October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, thank you for being aware, if you are not I will give this one time to do so, but now being aware is not ending this major issue. Its time to stop Domestic Violence and so much more.

You Could Have Just. . . . .

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Remember in your youth the phrase “Think before you speak”
was told over and over by the adults around you? It always amazed me how some
adults could speak out both sides of their mouths. At what point did we lose
our willingness to engage our brain before inserting our foot? Was it when we
realized there was no longer a consequence for our remarks or was it when we
learned the first amendment? Regardless of the reason, toying with someone life
in words should have consequences.

Being diagnosed with epilepsy this concept was evident even
to an eleven year old. Listening to doctors ask questions that would leave even
the most hardened adult confused and belittled. No medical reason for the
epilepsy like brain trauma or birth defect questions were asked like “could you
conjure one (a seizure) up for me?” “You could be wearing your ponytail too
tight”, “Are you sure you aren’t just imagining this?”  Twenty-two years of being treated like it was
all in my head until one sentence was uttered, 70 to 80% of all seizures have
no known cause. What? I’m a normal oddity? That one sentence if uttered at any
point 20 years earlier would have changed so much.

Then later in life, after the birth of a beautiful baby boy,
the request for birth control was made. For some reason the myths of women on
neurological medications would either have horrible birth defect consequences or
women on these meds tend to forget to take their birth control ran rampant
through the medical society. The practice of tying tubes or tubligation would
be my only option. I was sterilized because of my mythical inability to
remember to take my birth control.

Adults and physicians were not the only ones to mentally and
emotionally wrestle with, there is another stumbling block that for most of us
would be the last place we would encounter little or no understanding.

Being Catholic, seeking marriage assistance is not unusual.
Knowing that you have someone to speak to in total confidence is comforting.
The priest listened to my marriage issues, then told me to bring him (my ex) to
church more, be more submissive and a better wife so as not to anger him. Not
the words I was expecting. This holy man was telling me I was at fault for my
ex’s alcohol induced beatings.

I had been married for almost four years. Seeking an
annulment, another Catholic priest (my hometown priest) told me “you should
have just shut up and listened and you wouldn’t have gotten hit” point blank.
That was the end of the discussion and that was the end of me attending the Catholic
Church.

From my catechism teachings I don’t remember the heroes and
heroines of the bible being submissive. They were aggressive and empowered, why
should I have been any different?

“You could have just” can be a very powerful statement when
used the right way. The next time you see a child or a woman being abused and
stand by and do nothing. Look into their eyes and see “you could have just held
me or gotten me out; you could have just called someone in my time in need”.

The next time you are fighting over truths and half-truths,
look into their eyes and see “you could have just told me up front I can take
it, you could have just been braver than me this time”.

The next time you pretend to understand a person’s anguish,
step back one minute and take a look and you will see, “you could have just
been there wholly instead of pretending to know, you could have just silently
listened as my world fell apart – opinions were not needed just then”.

So please, if you get anything out of this, finish this
sentence before you change the life of a child, a victim, a friend, a
co-worker, a patient, a parishioner, or anyone for that matter.

You could have just…..just what? Think about that the next
time you speak a half truth or your belief, is it better for you or the person
receiving it?

*Winston Churchill*

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me:

These thoughts are so true, and needed so many times today…

Originally posted on C PTSD - A Way Out:


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“Success is not final,
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failure is not fatal:
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it is the courage to continue that counts.”
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*Winston Churchill*

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Who would of known Winston was so Zen!
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Our part in the world is not of judgment, but one of actual living in this moment.
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Living, taking action in the midst of distraction, resembles a life filled with satisfaction, happiness, and fulfillment.
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11 Things I Learned From Being Bullied In High School

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Very well done

Originally posted on Thought Catalog:

I think it is safe to say that, by any standards, I am an odd twentysomething. I was also a weird kid and a strange teenager. I am a teetotaler who prefers a good salad over junk food and who would rather have a good night’s sleep if she can have it. I enjoy serious literature, and, whilst I love music (like any human being does), it doesn’t have that much significance for me. I may listen to pop music with the same enthusiasm I have when I listen to Tchaikovsky, and I don’t give it much of a thought. I don’t strive to be cool, or at least, if I do try to be, it’s by my own standards and not those of my peers. I have some mental health issues (especially related to my General Anxiety) that have somehow become known and prominent without my being able to…

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“Taking Responsibility” For Getting Raped

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me:

I apologize also.. for both of mine…

Originally posted on :

I feel sorry for Jonathan Swift. The term “satire” and specifically Swift’s “modest proposal” about eating Irish children gets pressed into service to excuse and defend more offensive nonsense than Swift could have ever predicted. But the art of satire, as Swift employed it, isn’t dead, nor even entirely lost even after being used as the dumping ground for all that sloppy rubbish.*

A Denver-area kinkster and consent activist, Coco Jones (not the radio personality) has graced us with “I’m Taking Responsibility For Getting Raped.” If you’re writing a manual on how to satirize offensive, oppressive bullshit the Swiftian way, by treating it entirely seriously within the four corners of the text and letting it hang itself, you would do well to use this as your example:

I owe everyone an apology. I never expected to write this, I was stuck in a different mindset for a long time…

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Long hair can be in charge..

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Sorry, but I had long hair when I was a councilwoman and when I ran for state senate and representative.

Long hair on a woman doesn’t demean anything, her intelligence, her political stature, or her public personality.

I was told several times by several people in several groups to cut my hair when I was running for council, senate, and representative.

My hair had nothing to do with whether I won or loss.

My council win twice was by 25% + and it had nothing to do with my vagina or my hair.

My loss in my run for State Representative had nothing to do with my hair or my vagina, it had to do with Democratic Party not representing me.

I am growing my hair out again because I like my hair long, I am growing my hair out again because my husband likes it long. I am not a fashionista, nor do care whether or not I am wearing makeup that day. I am here to make sure that everyone rights are being upheld, and as long as that as is happening then I am quiet in my home. But if it is not happening… then you best be sure that me and my pony tail will be bobbing up and down in your face.

Hair has nothing to do with intelligence, political stature, or public personality. Her down right attitude to get the job done does.